To anyone interested...

I'm starting a new blog to accompany the new year. :)

It's a little different, but still exactly the same.

http://feachareagla.blogspot.com/

I was a little behind...

Day 04 – A picture of your night.

This one actually is a weird and long story... let's just say last night wasn't exactly what we had planned.

Day 05 – A picture of your favorite memory.

I have had some wonderful times and I have a lot of precious memories, but I definitely think that the days of my MFers were the best times of my life.

Day 06 – A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

Every girl wonders what it's like to be a princess... well, Kate actually gets to find out. I think it's cool that she was a "common" person that Prince William fell for. Kind of reminds me of "The Prince and Me". I just think that for one day it would be really neat to see how exactly royalty lives.

Day 07 – A picture of your most treasured item.

I love my heart necklace that I wear each and every day. I've had it for years and years. It's a very simple necklace shaped like a heart with a cross in it. On the backside, it says "Watch Over Me". I feel like it's one of those things like "Lord, if I get to busy for you, please don't ever get too busy for me" things. I cherish it and love it and never take it off. Haha!

I Can't Do This All On My Own...

Day 03 – A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

I have a few favorite shows. :)

Kyle XY... May you Rest In Peace. :(

Scrubs... Love this show. Always makes me laugh. :)

Yeah, I like Glee. Haha!

My Golden Girls Of Course. :D

Ahh Criminal Minds! Morgan and Reid = Love

And of course the sexiest yet most twisted Doctor ever... House. :D

17+ Years...

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

...and still going strong! I love you my Sreeny! :D

Forget that other Challenge...

I'm going to do the photo challenge now instead. I didn't like the stuff on that other challenge... it wasn't keeping me interested. PLUS I enjoy pictures more so I feel like a picture blog would be more fun. So, I'm going to start this picture blog.... now.

Day 01 – A picture of yours

elf with ten facts.

Day 02 – A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest.

Day 03 – A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 – A picture of your night.

Day 05 – A picture of your favorite memory.

Day 06 – A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 – A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 – A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 – A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 – A picture of the person you do

the most fucked up things with.

Day 11 – A picture of something you hate

Day 12 – A picture of something you love.

Day 13 – A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 – A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 – A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 – A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 – A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 – A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 – A picture and a letter.

Day 20 – A picture of somewhere you’d love to travel.

Day 21 – A picture of something you wish you could forget.

Day 22 – A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 – A picture of your favorite book

Day 24 – A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 – A picture of your day.

Day 26 – A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 – A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 – A picture of something you’re afraid of.

Day 29 – A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 – A picture of someone you miss.

Day 31 – A picture of yourself.

Day 1-

1. I secretly wish I could have either been born in the eighties or been a pirate.

2. I really want to write a book that gets published sometime in the future. I have so many story ideas playing in my head constantly... one of them has got to be worth something!

3. I'm working on trying to be a more independent person in that I want to start living more for myself than for other people. Saying that however, I want to live for God in all that I do.

4. My parents have recently separated, and I'm learning how to deal with some huge life changes right now. For those of you who know me, you know how important my family is to me, and I'm having to learn that life really and truly isn't always peachy keen, even if you work to make it that way.

5. Sometimes I wonder if I have accomplished anything substantial in my 20 years of life, but then I am reminded by God everyday that "he's still working on me". :)

6. I enjoy being creative and feel like it's a great way to escape some of life's ickier times... like drawing, writing, cooking, building something, etc.

7. I have a lot of compassion for other people, but I have learned that in the end you can do nothing to change or control anyone but yourself. Live and let live.

8. I recently got an amazing tattoo. One of the only "bad-ass" things I've done in my life for sure. Haha!

9. I love to make people laugh and smile! It's my favorite thing in the world.

10. If I grow up to never get married, but can have an amazing dog like my Abigail Lane, I will be perfectly content. :)

Ahh Memories... :)

Day 7: A you tube video you find funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXHTjtxiHaw

Enough said. :)

I love Dragonfruit. :D

Day 6: A list of what you ate today

Umm... not such a good blog for today cause I have not eaten good. At all. PMS and what not. Thankkkkk youuuu mother nature ya biatch!

1. Carnation Instant Breakfast

2. Chick-Filet Sammich

3. Fries

4. Pizza

5. Vitamin Water (Dragonfruit... YUM)

6. 4 Ibuprofen

Haha fail. If you are what you eat, I am pretty darn greasy today. :P

Following Your Heart

Day 5: A letter to your crush

Dear Crush,

Right now, my heart is stuck between two of you.

One- You are a great guy. We've talked a lot here lately, and have a lot in common. Only problem is- I don't feel a spark and my gut has a weird feeling about you. I usually trust my gut, but I still feel like I need to know you more. I don't know what it is or why, because I honestly know a whole lot about you. And you really really like me. That isn't reason enough to date you, I know, but I don't feel like I've dated anyone who honestly just really likes me for who I am, and you do. I just can't figure out if I want to keep talking to you and going out with you and leading you anywhere if my heart doesn't feel that spark.

Two- We hardly ever talk. I think about you quite a bit though. Lately, I have just been craving being able to talk to you. I wish I could, but the space between us makes it hard. We have sort of made plans to hang out of Christmas break though... and I'm really looking forward to it. You have a great heart, and I know that about you from spending time with you. And you're funny and make me laugh. I don't feel nervous around you at all. Me and you are so opposite though, which makes me wonder. People always say that opposites attract, but most of the time opposites don't make it anywhere. But, I'm kind of looking ahead anyways cause I really don't know what/who you have in your life right now... so yeah. Haha

So... it's the classical and forever known argument between heart and mind.

No One Else is Blogging Anymore

Day 4: A photo of you taken over 10 years ago.

My wonderful grandparents and I. I love them both so much and miss my Pepaw like crazy.

What I wouldn't give to go back to simpler days!

So many.

Day 3: Your favorite movie

It's hard to pick just one favorite. So... I'll pick a couple of faves out of a couple of categories.

1. Favorite Romance- 50 First Dates

2. Favorite Cartoon Movie- UP

3. Favorite Horror Movie- Paranormal Activity (yipes!)

4. Favorite Pick-Me-Up Movie- Mamma Mia!

5. Favorite Comedy- The Hangover/Grown Ups

6. Favorite Just Amazing Movie- Pirates 1, 2, & 3

7. Favorite Obnoxiously Long Movie Series- Harry Potter(s)

8. Favorite Comedy/Action Movie- RED

Skipped Some Days

Day 2: A bulleted list of everything that happened in your day

-Woke up at 4:45

-Got ready

-Had breakfast w/ Mom, Bren, Tyler, and Ceej

-Went to Kohl's @ about 5:30

-Got a lot of stuff!

-Went to the mall

-Got a lot more stuff!

-Came home

-Put gifts away

-Got on the Computer

-Posted a Blog

- :P

I love Black Friday.

To keep me blogging... :)

ANOTHER

50 Day Blog Challenge!

Excited?

YES I AM! :D

Day 1: Introduce yourself

Day 2: A bulleted list of everything that happened in your day

Day 3: Your favorite movie

Day 4: A photo of you taken over 10 years ago

Day 5: A letter to your crush

Day 6: A list of what you ate today

Day 7: A you tube video you find funny

Day 8: A photo of you taken recently

Day 9: List some of your favorite blogs

Day 10: A letter to a person who has caused you pain

Day 11: Share your favorite recipe(s)

Day 12: Self portrait

Day 13: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 14: A song from your childhood

Day 15: A letter to someone you wish you could meet

Day 16: Provide pictures of 5 celebrity crushes

Day 17: A photo that makes you sad

Day 18: Set or share a goal

Day 19: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 20: A letter to someone that changed your life

Day 21: Your favorite television program

Day 22: A photo that makes you happy

Day 23: Share one of your favorite tunes

Day 24: Time to face morph

Day 25: Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 26: Favorite books

Day 27: A talent of yours

Day 28: Favorite places to shop

Day 29: Your favorite color

Day 30: The friendliest person you knew for only 1 day

Day 31: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 32: A photo you took

Day 33: What you're craving right now

Day 34: Your favorite quote

Day 35: A letter to an ex

Day 36: Some hobbies of yours

Day 37: A song that you like to dance to

Day 38: A photo of your parents

Day 39: Zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality

Day 40: A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 41: Whatever tickles your fancy

Day 42: A bad habit you have

Day 43: A picture of your favorite place in the world

Day 44: Something that fascinates you and why

Day 45: A letter to yourself a year ago

Day 46: Photos of personal things in your life (pets, family, house, etc)

Day 47: Birthday wish list

Day 48: A photo of you right now

Day 49: Hopes, dreams, and plans for the next 365 days

Day 50: A letter to your reflection in the mirror

Day 1: Introduction to Me!

-I am 20 years old. Old. Haha

-I am a student at Gardner-Webb University.

-I want to be a Nurse.

-I love Jesus.

-I love to read.

-I love to write.

-Helping people is my passion.

-I can be kinda shy.

-I can be kinda random.

-I can be kinda... well I'll say blonde.

-I have a big heart and I love a lot.

-I have a little case of ADD and OCD.

-I like blogging. :D

Philosophy and Hope

The most argued subjects of today usually revolve around something philosophical.

Here lately, my English class has been focused on "the reason for life and being". I've found a lot of the things we discuss interesting, and actually have connected some of it to my own life here lately. So... blog time. ;)

First: Happiness.

My Mom asked me not long ago if I thought that a person could make themselves happy or if happiness had to come from something other than ourselves. Her question made me think. I used to believe that person could make themselves happy, and that happy was a daily decision that a person could make to benefit their own lives. When I got into nursing, I learned a lot about mental health disorders. I realized that the people with conditions such as depression don't choose to be depressed. I learned that sometimes things happen in peoples lives, and those things leave scars that are sometimes never healed. If people had the choice, then it seems as if everyone everywhere would be happy all of the time. Now, I think that most of happiness has to come from around you. Whether you like where you are, who you are, your friends, your family, your school, your job, etc. etc. etc. makes a large impact on how you wake up and feel every morning. In this though, there is trouble. If a person wakes up and realizes "Wow, I'm not happy..." that doesn't mean they should abandon things in their lives to search for something that will bring them happiness. In that case, there would be no such things as family, as friendship, or any otherwise stable things in peoples lives. For most all human beings, happy times will be more sparse than sad/bad/mad times, and most of that is an unstoppable force. So this brings up the question: where, when, and how do you decide if you are good where you are and need to make the best of it or do you need to move on and find some new reason to be happy again? I know that God is the only keeper of true happiness and peace, but that also brings me to question whether or not as a race humans are meant to be happy? As Christians, are we cursed to live with the hands we are dealt in this life to make Heaven seem just that much more indescribably good? Or is it really that we bring unhappiness upon ourselves each and every day and in that have some internal flaw? I have heard many sermons on how, as Christians, we are to delight in pain and suffering we endure for the Lord, but what about the rest of it? The pain we get when we lose a friend? The pain we get when we fail at what we've dreamt of doing our entire lives? The pain we feel when it seems as if we are alone in this world?

I keep hope in everything that the Lord does works out for the best of his children, and that all things are according to His plan. That is the only way to satisfy all of the "whys" and "why nots" that will forever be a part of our lives. I become convinced more and more everyday that God truly, deeply, indescribably loves all of his children, and that his hands are at constant work in our lives. So to me, as I have endless questions running through my head, I put a block of trust in their path and know that my God is forever watching over me.

Second: Change

We are forever changing beings. Every day I hear someone say something about "Well, I've not changed, it's them/that/there that has." That's truly wrong. Everything around all of us and inside all of us is under constant fire and turmoil and that causes us to change. I look around at the few true friends I still consider my true friends, and can't believe how much change I see in all of them. Some of it outwardly, some of it situationally, but most of in internally and somewhat spiritually. We all can't help it. It's human nature. And the funny thing about it is, we all live in denial that it is truly US that is different. Even when someone denies "No, I know I've changed" they feel a sense of pride in themselves that in some way they are still right. Right in that they way they've changed is the correct way to change, the best way to change. Or even just right to admit they have changed to look honorable and truthful to friends and family. We refuse to really sit an analyze ourselves into the depths of all our defects and glitches, and instead make everything about ourselves okay in our heads. There are exceptions of course, as there are to everything in this life, but most people cherish themselves in a way that may not outwardly appear but is inwardly present. Else wise, we wouldn't care if anyone hurt our feelings, left us alone, said mean things about us... we believe that there is something in us that is good and doesn't deserve the treatment we quite often all receive.

Change occurs in everything- in out appearance, in our speech, in our senses, in our hearts, in our minds, and even in our souls. Then how do people hang on to each other for years upon years of time? When we become friends with someone/date someone/marry someone, we decide we love them and want to be around them because of who they are (with still few exceptions). We feel that the people we associate ourselves with compliment us in some sort of way. How then does someone stay "friends forever" with someone? Or married to someone their entire lives? What if the change in a person is such that it does not fit with your own change, and there again you can't be happy with them anymore?

I have lost a lot of friends in my lifetime solely because of change. The friends I have now have decided, just like I have now, to stick with me as I change and as they change. So I guess in that sense, it all comes down to choice. You have to choose whether memories of someone or feelings that you used to have about someone are worth hanging on to them if none of the good stuff ever happens again. Change is in a sense choice.

I consider myself a good friend. I know that my friends don't know how much I truly love them, because sometimes I dont jump up to do things with them as I guess I should do sometimes. But I do love them, and if you are my friend now, then know that I have chosen to be your friend and made that commitment to you, and will be your friend until you no longer want me as one. I will never abandon anyone in my family or anyone of my friends no matter what they may do to me or period, if in some way it is still possible for me to hang on to them. It has to boil down to an understanding sometime, and a mutual appreciation that will persevere when everything else is over and gone.

Happiness and Change are in a way part of everything in everyones lives. If it weren't true, then we simply wouldn't and couldn't exist.

Sometimes, I personally feel like I don't have much going for me, or I don't have as much to look forward to as I have to dread. Honestly, that is probably true. The happy times always seem to be fleeting while bad times tend to linger on your heels for a while. I am really more accepting of those things that life may throw my way however. I feel like with comfort given from the Lord, the good memories, the happy recollections, and the great things (no matter how few or how many) that are still to come in my life, I can never lose hope.

This blog reminds me of a song... I seem to post a lot of song lyrics on here. Haha! :)

Praise You in this Storm

Casting Crowns

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down

and wiped our tears away,

stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen

and it's still raining

as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain,

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm

and I will lift my hands

for You are who You are

no matter where I am

and every tear I've cried

You hold in your hand

You never left my side

and though my heart is torn

I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind

You heard my cry to You

and raised me up again

my strength is almost gone how can I carry on

if I can't find You

and as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

and as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise

the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

I lift my eyes onto the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Big 20!

WARNING: This Blog may cause Nausea, Vomiting, Growth of hair all over the body, Growth of a Penis in Females, Growth of a Vagina in Males, Spontaneous Pregnancy, Excessive Flatus, Hair Loss on the Head, Excessive Hunger for Inanimate Objects, Need to talk to a Cell phone with no one on the other End, The craving of Blue Waffles, and Death.

So... I am officially no longer a teenager. All my years of immaturity and not knowing what they heck I was doing or where I was going are all gone...

NOT! hahaha!

I kind of wish it had been my 21st birthday this year instead of just my 20th. 20 just seems kinda depressing. Like, I'm no longer a teenager, so my carefree days of being a "kid" are over. Haha... not really though, but I mean, figuratively. At least with 21 you get a new responsibility that seems like a big deal kinda, but still not really. I think I have just hit the point of Birthdays where they are just kinda like "Whew... thank goodness I made it!" instead of "Heck yeah let's party!". Mom says I'm an old soul for thinking like that, but I am reminded of the handful of people I knew that didn't even make it to see what it feels like to turn 20, so I really feel thankful to be here. I have a big large amazing bright cool sometime sad but mostly good cause I will make it that way and I have God with me every step of the way future ahead of me. Even if I don't have a big future ahead of me, and die at a younger age (I hope I don't!), I have lived an amazing life and wouldn't ever change a thing. I so greatly look forward to Heaven too. Ahh... topic for another blog. :P

So now, I will rant and celebrate some of the happenings-of-lately that I feel like ranting or celebrating just cause I want to write a blog. :)

Rant #1: My stinking Microbiology teacher lectures are impossible. She starts out with like the super high volume at the beginning of each sentence, and by the end of the sentence you can't hear a word she's saying. Then, she goes right back up for the next sentence and scares the poop out of everyone in the class. AND she talked like 5,000 mph. My hand was in so much pain trying to keep up with what I could keep up with, and now looking back at my notes they're so scattered I can't even understand them. BUH!

Celebration #1: I got to go to a movie with Kadie and Haley the other night, and it was the first time I had seen Haley and really talked to her since probably June. For those who may not know, Haley was my best friend from the time we were 11 till we went off to college. Our friendship has overcome a lot over the years, and I feel blessed that every time we do manage to find time to hang out it's like we never stopped. I think that as you grow older, that's what friends have to become... someone who isn't there all the time, but still is there anytime you need them. Me and Kee and Hay had an awesome time catching up, and I loved getting to kinda celebrate my Birthday with them.

Rant #2: Nursing School BLOWS. :)

Celebration #2: I am getting closer to my amount of $$ I need for my Tattoo fund. Mom, Dad, Nana, and Bon Bon all forbid me to use the money that I got for my Birthday on a tattoo, but Memaw told me that the money she gave me would be perfect for a tattoo and if she were younger she'd "have them all over her body". She's awesome! :) So... I have my plan, and about half my money. Exciting!

Rant #3: Memaw was put into the Pigeon River Nursing home on Friday. I didn't find out until Sunday around lunch time. That made me super mad... not only that Memaw was put into the Nursing home but also that no one had told me. I know that I wasn't told for the sake of sparing me since they all knew it'd upset me, but still. Not long ago, my Dad and 2 Aunts had talked about taking Memaw's car keys away because she wasn't really in a good state to drive. While my Dad and 1 Aunt said for sure they needed to take them, my Aunt with Memaw's POA said that they should let her keep her keys because that would "be the easiest way to get her into a hospital bed and into a nursing home". I cannot tell you how mad that made me! I really can't imagine saying that about anyone, MUCH LESS my own Mother. My Dad really hasn't seemed right since... I guess it really tore him up deep down, and it's one of those things that it's like, What could he do? In the end, he doesn't have the power. So... Memaw is in the Nursing Home. Although I'm happy that she's there and doesn't have to be scared anymore, I still feel like it ended up being a way to get her out of my Aunts way. I don't want to ever wish bad on anyone, but I wonder how she'd feel if in a couple of years my cousin just "got her out of the way" by putting her in a Nursing home? It's just one of those things that you have to learn how to deal with, cause there isn't anything I can do about it.

Rant #4: Memaw doesn't have a phone at this Nursing Home, and that was the best way I could keep in touch with her and let her know that I still think about and love her. Sucks.

Rant #5: My Aunt took Memaw's keys and told her they were lost, left that issue with Dad, and conveniently left to stay with my cousin for a week. Ironically, my other Aunt is gone for a week too. Some family support there. I'm sure glad that there shouldn't be a time in my life when I would have to depend on them, cause they pretty much end up sucking at being a supportive family.

Celebration #3: I have rediscovered a love for music and dancing around like a lunatic. I've been struggling here lately with being happy, which is weird for me, and besides praying and giving it all over to God, I've been cranking up fun dance music and dancing around my dorm whenever Roomie isn't in here.

Rant #6: I really wish I didn't have such a big heart about things. I know I've talked about this in other blogs, but it's a stinking pain. I just want everyone to be happy... and that's just too impossible. And in times where the people who mean the most to me in the world are struggling and upset, it wears on me. I sometimes wonder if I'm depressed or close to it, but then I am reminded of what an awesome God I serve and how lucky I am to have the life I do, and I can't be depressed anymore.

Celebration #4: Someone is playing a lovely flute solo of "When the Saints come Marching In" somewhere in the dorm or outside. It's rather soothing actually. Nice job to whoever you are! :)

Celebration #5: Just when I feel like I couldn't hate this school more, I begin to love it all over again. Random reasons usually, but no matter how much I want to kick myself for coming to such an expensive school, I can't because I am so thankful that I have gotten the opportunity to spend the time here that I have.

Celebration #6: Although my Mondays suck with all of my classes and stuff, I had a pretty darn amazing Birthday. I had a whole lot of people tell me Happy Birthday on Facebook and otherwise, and I feel lucky that that many people thought of me yesterday. Even amongst all the classes that SUCKED, I got a smile every time I logged on Facebook. I am one blessed girl. :)

-> Well... that about wraps it up for now I reckon. :) Hopefully you experienced none of the symptoms listed above, and will continue to read any random blogs that I may post in the future. :D

Love you all. :)

:)

New Favorite Song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnhDIGTldho

La la la la la la
Everyday I fight for
All my future somethings
A thousand little wars
I have to choose between
I could spend a lifetime
Earning things that I don't need
But that's like chasing rainbows
And coming home empty
And if you strip me,
Strip it all away
If you strip me,
What would you find
If you strip me,
Strip it all away
Ill be alright

Take what you want
Steal my pride
Build me up
Or cut me down to size
Shut me out
But I'll just scream
Im only one voice in a million
but you aint taking that from me
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me

I dont need a microphone, yeah,
To say what I been thinking
My heart is like a loudspeaker
Thats always on eleven
And if you strip me,
Strip it all away
If you strip me,
What would you find

If you strip me,
Strip it all away
I'm still the same

Take what you want
Steal my pride
Build me up
Or cut me down to size
Shut me out
But I'll just scream
Im only one voice in a million
but you aint taking that from me
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me

'cuz when it all boils down
At the end of the day
It's what you do and say
That makes you who you are
Makes you think about it,
Think about it
Doesn't it
Sometimes all it takes is one voice

Take what you want
Steal my pride
Build me up
Or cut me down to size
Shut me out
But I'll just scream
Im only one voice in a million
but you aint taking that from me
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me