Music and Today- So Thankful!

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.

Happy- Anything 1. Jimmy Buffett, 2. Sheryl Crowe, 3. Rob Thomas, 4. Pink, 5. Don Henley, 6. Toby Mac.

Bored- Anything 1. Jimmy Buffett, 2. Sheryl Crowe, 3. Rob Thomas, 4. Pink, 5. Don Henley, 6. Toby Mac.

Hyped- 1. Pink, 2. Nickelback, 3. Creed, 4. New Stuff.

Mad- 1. Pink, 2. Nickelback.

One Specific Song for Each (Cause that's prob. what I should have done anyways :P)

Happy-

1. Trip Around the Sun

2. Everyday is Winding Road

3. Mockingbird

4. Bad Influence

5. All She Wants to Do Is Dance

Bored-

1. One Particular Harbor

2. All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun

3. Someday

4. Fun House

5. Boys Of Summer

Hyped-

1. Bad Influence

2. Follow You Home

3. Hide

4. Impossible (Shantelle?)

Mad-

1. Bad Influence/Fun House/Hazard to Myself

2. Anything (Haha!)

Okay... I think that about does it. :)

I had a wonderful day today. I'm thanking God that we didn't have to pay the money we thought we would to G-Dubb and that all of my classes and everything is completely squared away! Me and Mom shopped to celebrate and had a blast buying back to school clothes and having us time. :) She's the best friend I could ever have.

God is so wonderful like that... bringing unexpected little blessing into your life sometimes just to remind you that he loves you and is always thinking of you. You have to remember these times when things aren't as good- he never leaves your side, even when things are rough.

From a quote I read today- God doesn't love you because of who you are or what you've done, he loves you because of who he is and what he's done.

How blessed, which even seems to be an understatement, are we that he calls us his Children? Amazing! :D

Please keep my Mom's friend (& mine too) Rita in your prayers! Her husband recently had a heart attack, and when he was admitted they found a cancerous tumor in his groin. Since his heart is week they can't do any kind of surgery to remove it yet, so they're just playing a waiting game. On top of all of that, she went to the doctor the other day and they found a tumor in her stomach. She's having a biopsy sometime next week. Her job is also changing, so she's really got a lot to deal with right now. I'm praying hard for her right now, bless her wonderful heart. She is an amazing lady who really needs the comforting hand of the Lord right now.

Missed Days Again... :(

Day 07: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

My MFer Girls. Lots and lots of fun and amazing times with these girls. I got to play the sport I love, and make friend that I will cherish forever.
My family of course (picture is minus Nana, but she's in it too!) They helped to build me to be who I am today and completely support everything I work for and choose to do. They love me unconditionally, and I them. :)
My Girls (picture minus Whitters but she's there too like Nana! haha) Some have been there for me thick and thin, others have helped me learn things about myself and life in general as they walked in and out of my life. I love them all!

Day 08: Short term goals for this month and why.

Short term goal... Hmm. Probably to lose more weight would be the biggest. I've lost all and + some that I had gained while I was at G-Dubb, but I still want to get down to my goal size/weight. :) I also wanna get more in shape, and that's working out really good so far! Haha!

Day 09: Something you’re proud of in the past few days.

Well... I would have to say I'm proud that me and Dad have stuck to our jogging goals. We have only missed like 3 nights total, and those days was because we had done something active already earlier that day. I'm so excited that my shoulder doesn't hurt anymore so I am able to run! Haha! It's different to just hate it and not do it than it is to not be able to do it.

P.S.

Just a note that I feel is kinda blog-worthy- I found out today that I MAY possibly have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I go to have blood work done in the morning bright and early, and then have an ultrasound schedules for next week to figure it all up. There isn't a fix or cure for the issues, and it's two main "symptoms" associated with it are pain in the pelvic region and difficulty becoming pregnant. Not that I'm planning on being a Mom anytime soon, but I want to someday, so I hope that I don't have the "disease". Prayers would be appreciated though! :D

Today

So today has been a bad morning to say the least, and I really don't have all that much to say. But I'll do my 30 Day Challenge none the less.

Day 05: Favorite Super Hero and Why

Well, I think there are a lot of different classifications of Super Heroes. The Ultimate being Jesus Christ who was tortured and died for all of our sins. There is no Super Hero than him. My Nana is a hero to me... she struggled to raise two young kiddos by herself, and is the strongest woman I know. My Dad is my hero too. He does so much for our family and you hardly ever hear him complain. My Mom would do absolutely anything and everything not only for our family but for anyone who comes to mean something to her, making her my Hero also.

As far as a fictional Super Hero, which is what I think this meant, I would have to choose Batman. He didn't have any true powers, but he still fought crime and tried his best to do what was good for mankind.
I also like Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, but do they count? Haha

Jezka Reminded Me!

Day 05: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

Ahhhh... so many wonderful places. I have 2 favorites. :)

Lake Hiawassee

Panama City Beach

:)

Missed a Day! :(

Gotta make up for what I didn't do yesterday... fail. Haha!

Day 03: Picture of me and my friends.

It said "pictures" right? ;)


Day 04: Habit I wish I didn't have.

One word: Facebook. Facebook = "One giant social life suck..." Reed from Criminal Minds
Haha... I wish I didn't have it... but it looks like it's a habit that isn't going anywhere for a while. :( :P

Faith

Day 02: The meaning behind your Blog's name.

My blog's name has changed from Blog to Blog, but both of the names have to do with Faith. The first one, "You gotta have Faith" was more about when I was facing some hard times and how I knew that Faith in God alone would carry me through anything and everything. Anytime I would get down, I just knew that I had to keep my faith in Him and His plan for me and my life, and that no matter how things seemed to work out to me, they worked out perfectly according to His greater plan. :)

This particular blog's name is "Taking a leap of Faith". I decided this Summer that I wanted to branch out and try things I've never done, do things I didn't think I'd ever do (nothing stupid of course). In other words, I was "taking a leap of faith" into the unknown trying to learn more about myself. I have felt for so long that I was just some goody-goody who hasn't ever go to do things that I THOUGHT I really wanted to do. I said for the longest time that I wanted to be more bad ass, wanted people to see me different, etc. Maybe some of this had to do with my family, the stories about my Mom and Dad and how they were reckless and crazy and had loads of fun growing up. Maybe it had to do with how my Parents always say that if "Brenna were a little more Jordan, and Jordan a little more Brenna, then they'd have a normal child" (Bahaha!). Talking to them all however, and really learning about their pasts, I learned something great from them.

Not even all the way through the Summer, I think that my "leap", and my families guidance, has taught me so much about myself already. I AM a bad ass. It's bad ass that I'm going to college and working hard so that I can have a career to support my family one day, it's bad ass that I stay committed to stay pure until I'm with the man I will marry, it's bad ass that I spend time with my family because I know how truly lucky I am to have them, it's bad ass that I can TRY things within the safety of my family and friends, it's bad ass that I can have a drink or two with my Mom and know that it's okay, it's bad ass that I have my priorities straight and an awesome future ahead of me. OH! And it's major bad ass that me and my Dad now go running every night!! Haha!

What I thought this blog was going to be more about was my "leap" into something/someone new (to an extent), and how I would become a "little less Jordan and a little more Margaret", but now I know in my heart of hearts that I am awesomely happy the way I am. I don't regret trying things to see if that's what I wanted to do/be, and I know now that I have learned from those experiences. I don't ever want to be perfect or have everything figured out... it's just not fun to be that way. The fun in life is having adventures and discovering yourself through them. I feel like God has worked in me this Summer to erase the thoughts I've had of changing and to show me that he made me the "goody-goody" I am for a perfectly planned out reason. I am exactly happy with what he's given me and what he's allowed me to become.

So, in summary (haha!), "Taking a leap of Faith" this summer was all about me finding myself a little bit when I felt that I was ready to explore who I could be. Now my leap of Faith will be in following what God has in store for me no matter where it may lead.

This Summer has been SO amazing. :)

Thirty Day Challenge

So, I'm gonna do a thirty-day challenge to make myself post EVERYDAY for THIRTY DAYS! I hope I can do it... haha!
Here are the Days:

Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02: The meaning behind your Blog's name
Day 03: A picture of you and your friends
Day 04: A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05: A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06: Favorite super hero and why
Day 07: A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08: Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09: Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12: How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14: A picture of you and your family
Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16: Another picture of yourself
Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23: Something you crave for a lot
Day 24: A letter to your parents
Day 25: What I would find in your bag
Day 26: What do you think about your friends
Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then
Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30: Who are you?

Here we go...
Day 01: A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself. :)

1. I am a Christian first and foremost, and really want to pursue some sort of mission work in my future (whether it be for a week or for a lifetime).

2. I WANT A TATTOO! Haha! & the Tattoo I want is the words of a family insider.

3. I am constantly turning my life experiences into mini novels in my head. I will pursue one eventually.

4. I don't think that I have ever been in love, although I really want to be. :)

5. I have taken a vow to stay pure until I meet the man I will spend the rest of my life with.

6. I consider my dog Abigail Lane (Abby) my daughter.

7. I am extremely accident prone and rarely go a single day without hurting myself in some way, shape, form, or fashion.

8. I am currently working on an untitled story about love/growing up.

9. I hope to be a Nurse Midwife one day.

10. I've done a lot of crazy things that have all led me to this wonderful life that I'm currently living.

11. I'm a "little bit canton" and "little bit candler" which makes me a southern girl who loves to fish and can shoot a gun.

12. I don't consider myself any sort of "type" and can fit in with any kind of people.

13. I like to live by the motto "Forgive everyone for everything" as only Jesus would want me too. If he forgave me for all of my sins, I owe it to him to never hold a grudge.

14. If I ever moved to anywhere, it'd have to be somewhere in the Keys where I could listen to Jimmy Buffett music all day and live a sandy life.

15. I may/may not be able to have kids one day, but want to adopt regardless.

^Maybe these aren't too interesting, but I think they kind of begin to describe me. :)

Blog (Great Title, eh?)

Just wanted to share my favorite picture ever. If I ever get a really detailed tattoo, it will somehow be of this picture. It's just so wonderful. :)

I've been spending a lot of lazy days here lately just laying at the pool and what not. I have been running everyday though, which has given me NO results as of right now. GAY! Haha but I feel good. :)

Me and Bren took Memaw to lunch today which was great. I love her so much... I wish I could see her more often but it's just complicated now-a-days.

I'm trying to make a decision right now, so I'm praying for some wisdom and such. This Summer has shown me a lot of things thus far and I hope it continues to.

Self-Discovery at it's finest. Haha! :)

Rob Thomas- Mockingbird

Here we stand,

Somewhere in between this moment and the end.

Will we bend?

Or will we open up and take this whole thing in?

Everybody else is smiling and their smiles don't fade,

And you don't even wonder why you just don't think that way.

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere,

We can't move on and we can't stay here.

Well maybe we've just had enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

You and me have tried everything,

still this mockingbird won't sing.

Well man this life seems hard enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

Take my hand,

And I will lead you through the broken promise land.
Yes I can, ah yes I can,
I can be there when you need it,

I'll give it all till you can't feel it anymore.
I don't wanna love you now if you'll just leave someday.
I don't wanna turn around if you'll just walk away.

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere,

We can't move on and we can't stay here.

Well maybe we've just had enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

You and me have tried everything,

still this mockingbird won't sing.

Well man this life seems hard enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

Maybe you and me got lost somewhere,

We can't move on and we can't stay here.

Well maybe we've just had enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

You and me have tried everything,

still this mockingbird won't sing.

Well man this life seems hard enough,

Well maybe we ain't meant for this love.

Maybe we ain’t meant for this love.
Maybe we ain’t meant for this love.

Cursed?

I just finished reading a book called Impossible where a curse was put on a line of women in this family where they would get pregnant at age 18, have their baby, and then go crazy- all because of a woman in their family who was originally cursed by a man who wanted to marry her but she refused. Did you get that? Haha

I wonder sometimes if I have some kind of relationship curse on me? Haha It seems that every relationship I have had has ended in some crazy/stupid/bad manner. I honestly can't think of one relationship that I've had that I would consider an overall good relationship that came to a good end. I mean, I don't think I'm gonna have to solve some ridiculous 3 tasks to break my curse or anything, but I really do wonder why all my relationships have ended oddly? I wonder if God is using them for some reason, or making me wait for some reason? I mean, I know he's making me wait for the right guy, but I wonder why? Haha I don't know.

I figure God's working on me a good man who will treat me like I think I deserve to be treated and who will love me just the way I am. I pray for him, whoever he is, and I hope that maybe he prays for me too. I get so ready to meet him, but I know that's not how God works... I gotta be a patient child and wait for whenever he knows I'm truly ready.

I may work on a P.O. Box again... whether or not I would actually give it to my future husband, I don't know, but it may be the workings of a good book! Haha (For anyone who doesn't know, a P.O. Box is kind of like a "Hope Chest" but it's letters that you write to your future spouse just saying anything you wanna say I reckon... I got it out of some books that I've read from the Christy Miller series which is a Christian series about a teenage girl and the course of her young adult life.)

Anyways, I'm done with my little mini rant about my bad relationships. Haha

OH! And for my edit, I have to go change my bucket list. Haha #8 may not be happening this summer as I had planned... :P

Harry Potter...

... Is just way too much better than Twilight. Just saying. Haha

Me and the fam are just sitting here watching the 6th movie while we cross our fingers and pray for some rain!
I had forgotten how good the books and movies were. They all have such good points and wonderful characters. I remember now why I fell in love with them in the first place.

Speaking of reading: I just finished the book "Impossible" and loved it! It was a wild story about an old folklore that cursed a family, and a girls resulting life from this curse. It was really great and about love and how love conquers all. That's the best lesson anyone could ever learn. :)

I Love Lazy Sundays. :)

Dream

I had the craziest dream last night.

It was Class Day again, except the graduating class before my class got to do our class day. Everyone was there! I mean, people I didn't even know I remembered. They were dressed up like jets and fireworks and doing crazy stunts that made no sense... but it was an awesome Class Day. Haha!

I sat in the back with people I really never was close to, but they were my friends evidently. I ended up having two boyfriends in the dream- Ryan and Morgan- and I was trying to figure out how to introduce them because evidently it was okay to have two boyfriends? I wonder if that part of the dream came from me reading A Thousand Splendid Suns?

But yeah, crazy dream.

OH! And my legs were carrots. That part didn't really fit in anywhere so... yeah.

Haha! :D

Summer Days

Today has been a wonderful day full of things that I really needed.

I got up this morning to go early baby shopping with my Mama. Shopping for babies Brayden and Bailey was so wonderful! How amazing that 2 new lives are so close to being started? Two completely original and new stories are just about to begin, both brimming with such marvelous possibility...

Afterwards, I went with my friend Whitney to fun depot and spent about four hours getting back in touch with my inner child. After some made go-kart racing, lazer tagging, bowling, bumper car-ing, dancing, racecar racing, and just being silly, I felt completely rejuvenated for going into the rest of my day. It was awesome to really know that you can be completely child-like sometimes and it still feels right. And I love my Whitters!

Then when I got home I went out to dinner with my family. I never get sick of my family. God has blessed me so much with such amazing people surrounding me and raising me. I am proud to say that I'm spoiled, and it's true I am, spoiled with so much love that I know I can never be lost in this world as long as I have them with me.

Lastly, I got to go book shopping. I picked up a new James Patterson teen novel series starter called Maximum Ride (I love James Patterson... such an amazing writer!), and I got another book by an author I don't recognize called Impossible (kind of a romantic-thriller is how it's described). There is nothing better than ending a great day with a great book to get lost it.

I also got to sort some things out that were bothering me today with someone I really care about, and that felt great. :)

Thank you God that I can have such wonderful days that make even the worst of days seem to disappear.

Growing Older But Not Up

Growing up is something we all have to do. Some at different times than others. Some to a different degree than others. Some of us, like myself, fight it and fight it until we end up in such a rut that we wish time would speed ahead instead of slow down.

I go back and forth so often. Sometimes I want to speed ahead into my future. Getting out of school and knowing what I'm going to do and where I'm going to work, meeting the man God has set out for me and finally being treated with the love and respect I deserve, dating and having fun and finding out what it's really like to trust a guy, finding out which friends will actually stick around through thick and thin, getting married and having a wedding, moving into my first house with my husband, living together and traveling places, having kids a little later on. So much of this makes me sound like a lonely teenage girl just wanting the fairytale that we all hear so much about. But it's so much more than that. More and more as time goes on I sit and think about my future. I question how many friends I really have and question why I waste my time with some of them when I know good and well I'm just going to get hurt. I wonder when I'll ever meet that one guy that will sweep me off my feet and once again question why I've wasted time on so many I knew were wrong. I wonder what is going to result from my working so hard in school while right now it seems that I've gotten no where. I wonder what kind of person I will end up being. I so often wish I could change out of this whole push over, always nice, "sweetie" that everyone sees me to be and pull out some bad-ass, won't take anyone's crap, just doesn't care persona that I doubt even exists in me- so I wonder if I'll always be the same. I wonder if there's something more in God's plan for me than where I look to be headed. I wonder if I messed up somewhere a long time ago and that's why I feel the way I do.

And then I go to the other extreme. I forget about all these things I wonder about and convince myself that there is still so much time to change. So much time to be a little more bad-ass, to date, to figure out what I'm going to do in my career, to figure out who my friends are. I want to goof off, do dumb things, take off on adventures with my friends with no strings attached, date for fun, get into trouble, make mistakes and learn from them, test the waters with everything in my life, go places, meet new people, try new things, do dangerous things, be reckless and not have to pay for any of it, style my hair in some crazy new way, go on drives to where ever I want to when ever I want to, turn off my cell phone/laptop/everything and get away from the world for a while, and just be whatever who ever where ever what ever I wanna be anytime I want to. The freedom of being a "kid" is what makes me want to stay right where I'm at for as long as I can. I love being free even if I don't take advantage of it as often as I should.

Both sides seem to me like a giant wave- the me that wants the future is the wave coming in and the me that wants to hang on to childhood is the under-toe that's sucking the water back out. I know that there is an oncoming collision, a riptide, and that no matter how tough things have gotten before my most tough obstacle is ahead of me. I actually think I am kind of in the rip tide now. I still have the freedom of being a kid, but I have the big life decisions looming right in front of me getting closer each day.

I so often seem to compare my life to those of my friends... and after writing this I have kind of given myself some insight. I like where I'm at. I wouldn't trade my life or where I am with anyone else that I know, no matter how confused I may feel or how happy they seem. God has given me this roller coaster to ride, and this ability to write myself out for a reason. I'm going to start writing again. I'm going to write until I get this all out. All of these thoughts and feelings that I feel pushing against my finger tips.

Adding to the Bucket List:

26. Grow up and Discover myself through Writing

Bucket List

I have 3 purposes for this blog...
1. Grow in my relationship with God and try to better understand his purpose for me.
2. Write all about my Summer of 2010.
3. Write about anything and everything because I love to write.


Summer 2010 Bucket List
Purple- Accomplished. :P
Green- Partially Finished

1. Like the lyrics “Filled with Wonder, Awe struck wonder, at the mention of Your name…” -I want to hear God’s name and be reverent of it. I don’t want to use his name in vain EVER again.
2. Read my Bible.
3. Read my devotional.
4. Read The Shack.
5. Read a book for the fun of it.
6. Go to Panama City Beach!
7. Go to a professional Baseball game. (Go Braves!)
8. Give a guy a chance.
9. Get my shoulder back into shape.
10. Get back into shape period.
11. Lose weight.
12. Watch every episode of a favorite show.
13. Reorganize my room.
14. Read my past Journals.
15. Edit/Finish a Story I’ve started.
16. Spend many lazy days at the pool with my family.
17. Pray about anything/everything and just talk to God.
18. Go to the lake more than once.
19. Catch a big fish while deep sea fishing.
20. Eat a fish that I catch.
21. Fall off of the Jet Ski.
22. Do something crazy.
23. Go tubing with my girls.
24. Have a sleepover with Kee and Portia. :P
25. Change my attitude about school.

Deja Vu?

Okay... So I don't mean to go all indecisive on anyone here, but I decided to have a blogspot blog instead of tumblr.

Blogspot gives me more stuff to jazz up my page with and do, which I like... not that I don't like tumblr. Haha But from now on this will be my main blog, although for those who follow me on tumblr I may keep posting on there too. :)

Hope this isn't too confusing! I'm gonna make a new post for my bucket list and the purpose of this blog right after this one to get more organized. :)

Love,
Jorr