Biggest Little Losers :)

I can't believe how long it's been since I've sincerely blogged. I really though i'd do better coming back to school since I had gotten so into it, but that didn't work out as anyone reading this can see. Haha

I kinda have gone flat on my whole want to blog. You ever get to a point where you just think about stuff too much and drive yourself nuts? Well I kinda write myself to that point. Haha! SO i'm gonna try and stop doing that.

I have gotten back into the swing of school way faster than I thought I would. I forgot how much I missed living with all of my girls here. It makes it easier for me to be away from home having the group I do here.

Not that I don't miss my family and few friends back at home. If they could all come down here and stay, my life would be absolutely perfect. :)

Well... I'm out of stuff to say for right now. Not really, but I don't feel like diving into a dad-jim three page long something something. Haha! So... I'm gonna go finish watching Huge and get some sleep for my 8 o'clock class tomorrow.

Yay for being back at GWU! :D

Must... Write.... A.... BLOG!

I will later. Haha!

Things have just been too busy and crazy going back to school and what not. I'll work on catching up as soon as I can. :)

Half of my Heart

I love this song. I so so often feel like I only have a grip on "half of a situation" and that half of my heart is always on it's own little trip apart from the other half.

I started thinking about it as I was sitting and talking to my Nana today. She was telling me that all she wanted when she was younger was to get married and start a family. She got married when she was 17 to a man named Claude, and after finding out that they weren't able to have kids of their own, they adopted my Mom and Uncle Terry. Claude then died of a massive heart attack when my Mom was four years old- right after he had finished building a home for his family. My Nana raised her kids on her own, and worked as hard as she possibly could to take care of her children. She worked nights, days, weekends, everything at the old Enka Plant and still barely made enough to get by supporting her kids on her own.

This got me to thinking about my own life. Me and my Nana are soooo much alike. I take after her in most of my personality for sure. People ask me all the time if I'm more like my Mom or Dad, but I'm really neither. I'm a Nana's girl. ;) So, I naturally started thinking about myself getting married. It's hard to believe that my Nana was married so young- I can't even imagine being married two years ago. I'm still waiting to really be in love. I know though that things were different then, and getting married at 17 now is very rare. Anyways, I thought about if I had taken a direction more like hers... if I had went straight to work at the best kind of job I could get and settled down with a Man and got married and worked with him to get a house and have kids. That sounds wonderful to my heart. I want soo badly to have a loving christian husband and family one day, and it's my biggest dream that I have for my life. The impatient part of my heart gets frustrated that I can't be there now... falling in love, my man proposing, getting married, getting a house, all the stuff that comes with that chosen direction. "Half of my heart is a shot-gun wedding to a bride with a paper ring". But then I see what happened to my Nana... she was left at 36 with a 3 year old son and a 4 year old daughter that she had to step up and completely support. Her husband had mostly supported their family, and in a time where life insurance and things were not as well known of and used, she was left a large pay check short with the same amount of responsibility. I look at how hard she worked, and listen to her stories about some of her most challenging obstacles and how she overcame them all... and I think about how much harder that would be in todays world. Everything costs more than it ever has, and raising a family on two sturdy pay checks is now-a-days a challenge all in its own. Back in my Nana's time, you could get a job at 17 that would be good enough to help support a family. Now, you're lucky to get more than $10.00 and hour for any job right out of high school. This is when my brain starts to talk some sense into my heart. I know that no matter how much I wanna be in love and married and with my own kids, I am doing the best possible thing for my future family by heading back to school today for another year. I know that when I do get married, if anything bad happens to my husband, I could support my children and myself if I just stick to what I've started.

It's so hard sometimes... I have friends in all walks of life who are all doing different things. Some are in school far away, others in school back at home while they work, others are married, others married and pregnant, some starting lives as single parents... so many of them I just wish I could trade shoes with for one day. I'd love to see the way my friends live and what goes on in their lives. My brain knows that even when I do get envious of some of them for being where my heart wants to be in life, I have to keep going on and do this for mine and my families future. It's weird to say it like that, but I hope that my future husband is out there too, working to make a better future for our family and each other.

I almost daily have to sit my heart down and tell it to "wait, wait, wait". I know that God has something awesome in store for me as not only a Nurse, but as a Wife, and as a Mother. He wouldn't have sent to GWU last year if he didn't. I know it's all in His plan. Sometimes I want His plan for me to hurry, but I know God doesn't work like that. I once heard from my youth pastor that God has 3 possible answers to asked prayers... Yes, No, and Wait. The hardest one to take is the third, if you ask me.

I mean all of this in no offense to anyone who has chosen a different path than I have. I don't live, think, or work like that. I believe very much in "to each their own" and KNOW that God has a different and unique path for all of us to travel down in each of our own different lives. I solely try to do what's best for me, and what is in God's unique intentions for my life.

My Nana is one of the most amazing and strong and wonderful people that I know. She gives everything she has to anyone who needs it, and would give you food out of her mouth if you were hungry. She lives her life completely for other people. Nothing is ever about her... it's all about the people she loves. She very rarely asks me for anything, but she had asked me now to stay in school and keep working and pushing forward with what I've started. "You never know what's in store for you in the next ten years" she always tells me. She's so wise and filled with life experiences that I don't know how I could ever not listen to what she tells me. Sometimes you just have to look ahead, and know that some things will never go as planned, and that you have to be as ready and prepared as you can be for everything life could throw at you.

So heart, I'm sorry. Once again you're gonna have to be put on hold. But don't worry... you have so much love and happiness ahead of you... sometimes somethings are just worth the wait.

Sophomore Year @ G-Dubb!

So... since I'm done with my 30-day-challenge I'm gonna have to work on having something to write about every day. Haha!

I go back to school in T-Minus 2 days and I must say I am excited to get back and start a new year! I have some new goals for this year now that I kind of have a grip on how the whole college thing works... Maybe I'll make a "Sophomore Year Bucket List". Baha!

(BTW check out my Summer Bucket List... I pretty much finished it all up! :P The only things left will be done in September sometime.)

SOPHOMORE YEAR BUCKET LIST

Green = Done

Purple = Partially Done

1. Continue Blogging!

2. Make a 'B' or better in all of my classes. YES I CAN!

3. Raise my GPA

4. Live a little!

5. Make time for more fun stuff and not so much stress-stuff.

6. Meet new people! (Freshman, Upper Classmen, Anything!)

7. Get out of my comfort zone.

8. Continue Working out & Lose more weight!

9. AVOID Chik-fil-a at all costs! Baha!

10. Join FCA and Something else (Prison Ministry?)

11. Make time for Verge

12. Make time for Yoga and other Gym Activities

13. Paint Pottery for Mom's Office

14. Paint Pottery for my Room

15. Paint Dad a beer mug for his B-Day! Haha!

More to come later, I'm sure. :)

Finished :)

Day 29: In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30: Who are you?

Day 29:

I have learned a lot this month, and this summer. Mostly about myself, but a lot about my friends and other people too. I can't even begin to list all of the things I've learned. Some biggies-- I will get hurt by friends/family, and that only God won't let me down. I can't constantly judge people based on what I think is "right". Forgiving everyone for everything brings peace. I can't worry about other people so much that I drive myself insane. That the best direction to turn is to God, no matter happy, sad, mad, etc. Faith overcomes anything.

I am so glad that I did this 30-day challenge. I really want to find another blogging challenge to do after this one to keep me writing on an almost daily basis. :)

Day 30:

Man, this one is hard.

I am Jordan, Jorr, Jordo.

I am a Jesus Loving, Faith-filled, Looking-for-God's-Will-for-me kinda girl.

I am definitely family-oriented.

I am a writer, and hopefully a future author.

I am free and young, and learning more about life everyday.

I am a devoted friend.

I am somewhat scatter brained and forgetful.

I have a "Jimmy Buffett" island attitude.

I am a lover of most everything, everyone.

I am quick to trust.

I am slow to speak my mind and stand up for myself.

I am a kid at heart.

I never want to grow up, but can't wait for my future.

I am excited about life.

I am just as God made me to be, me. :)

It's so weirdly appropriate that I end this summer with the end of this thirty day journey. What an amazing summer it has been! So many things in my life have changed over the past year, and this Summer was all in all about me learning that that's just part of life, and a part of growing up. I think that's something I've done a lot of this summer... growing up. I've learned about myself and what I want, I've learned about the difference in "friends" and true friends. I've learned that my family is the most solid foundation I could have ever asked for, and that they mean so much to me as I am learning more and more about life everyday. I've most importantly learned that I am happy with where I am, where I'm going, and the people that are on this wild ride with me. :)

Thank you Summer of 2010. It's been real. :)

Coming Back to Jesus

Let It Go
Tenth Avenue North

I've been holding on so tight
Look at these knuckles
They've gone white
I'm fighting for who
I wanna be
I'm just trying to find security
But You say let it go,
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go.
Well it's hard enough to hear
Harder still, to move beyond this fear
We know there's nothing I can bring,
So tell me what do you want from me?
But You say let it go,
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go,
You say let it go
What do I love?
What do I hate?
What will I lose?
What will I gain?
How do I save my soul?
What if I bend?
What if I break?
What will it cost?
What will it take?
For you to save my soul.
You say let it go,
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say You will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go,
You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go,
You say let it go.

I'm taking a break from facebook and blogging and any other distractions for a while to get myself some time to focus on life. We all lose sight of reality and love and God so easily when placed in front of a computer/tv screen. I'll be writing instead of blogging for a while.

I'll finish my thirty days when I get back, but for now, I'm out of the office.

Day 26: What do you think about your friends.

Day 27: Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

Day 28: A Picture of you from last year, how have you changed since then?

Day 26: What I think about each of my friends has changed a lot in the past year, and is still changing to be honest. Sometimes, I wonder if I count people as my friends when I shouldn't, or try to hold onto people that I can't. I don't wanna go in to detail about each of my friends. I do have some great friends, some that I could pick up the phone at 3:00 am and they would be right there for me. I'm just gonna say this: I think me, along with all of my friends, are growing up and changing everyday, and we're all just trying to do our best with what we've got to hang on to eachother. :)

Day 27: I love to write, plain and simple. Writing lets me say things that I wouldn't say otherwise. It's definitely my "art".

Day 28:

I used this picture because I was probably happiest this week of last Summer. This was World Changers week. I went, I helped those who needed help, I worshipped my glorious Father alongside people I loved, and it was just amazing. From that week on the world was an open oyster to me, and I was excited about college, meeting new people, starting classes to become a nurse, and completely content with where my life was headed. Now, I'm worried about college, stressed about becoming a nurse, and not exactly loving where my life has got me right now. I'm learning to deal though, each and every day, and that has made me more mature. I just wish like everything I could get back on that roof top, grab some of the happiness, and some of that Spirit that had me just on fire for God, and bring it back to myself sitting here now.

Friendship

The more I live, the more I am convinced that most things in life are a set up for heart break. No matter what you do, even the best things somehow end up breaking your heart.

For example: Friendship

This past year, I have really lost as many friends as I have gained, if not more. I often wonder how many true friends I have... and then I think, what is a true friend? How close can you possibly get to someone and be safe? You know, I used to have one friend that I loved dearly, but she never got too close to anyone person. She was friends with EVERYONE sure, but not really ya know? Not like the friendships that I had created for myself. She would always keep people at arm's length, and I never understood it. Our friendship doesn't exist like it used to, and sad thing is, I'm the only one that got hurt. I was the dumb one who let her closer than arms length, while she kept me in as close regard as any other Joe Smith. I really got my feelings hurt then, though not for the first time. Since I went to college, I have made some amazing new friends... but I have found that I am an overall happier person when I keep my friends at arms length. I have a handful of friends right now that I'm too attached to. I've let myself get so close to these people that when they (not if they, it will happen) let me down or treat me wrong, it's going to hurt. And that's only my fault. That's my choice. I can have a couple of really close friends who WILL hurt me that I can give my heart to, or I can have a bunch of "friends" who I won't care if they do anything against me and can live a lonelier existence. What do you do when both of your choices suck? I can either have no one, everyone, or a few people, and every way I end up being the one that loses. I wonder too if most relationships are like that... do you just KNOW you're going to get hurt sometime eventually? Can you honestly put your heart out on the line and get hurt over and over without it numbing you to everything? And everyone? I've always heard "don't make someone your priority if to them you're just an option". Well, isn't everyone an option to everyone else? This quote would make it so that everyone was always out for "#1" only, and no one would ever know what it was like to love.

I have one friend who asks me sometimes why I do the things I do and why I make time for some of the people I make time for. I wonder if she knows then what it's really like to love an imperfect person, at least as a friend. That's exactly what it's like... by choosing to love, you choose to hurt. You choose to surrender yourself to the whims of another person, who at any moment could break your heart. That's when you really have to stop and think, "Okay... I know this person is going to hurt me... is it worth it?" I wonder now if there aren't people in my life who aren't worth it. But when I say that it feels wrong. I very much believe that since my Merciful Father has forgiven me for so many wrong doings, then I owe it to him to forgive too. Forgive, forgive, forgive... and sometimes it gets hard. But I feel like I was put on this earth to be a friend and a confidante to people who need me. And in turn, I need them, which is dangerous. I have learned a lot from people who have walked in and out of my life. They have taught me what it means to be a friend.

My Bag?

Day 25: What I would find in your bag

I don't know which bag I am supposed to write about. Haha! I'm gonna go with like a sports bag, that would have my softball glove and a ball in it. Or it could mean like a traveling bag, which would have clothes and bathing suits for the beach or lake in it.

There ya go. Haha!

Dear Mom and Dad (Nana too of course!)

Day 24: A letter to your parents.

Dear Mom, Dad, and Nana,

Well, I'm not sure what I am supposed to say to you guys writing this... You all know how much you mean to me and how much I love you all. You guys completely lay down everything about yourselves to take care of and love me and Brenna as much as your hearts can stand. We are both so amazingly blessed to have such a wonderful Mom, Dad, and Nana like we do. I am so thankful too that me and Brenna are lucky enough to have two parents who work to make their marriage last and stay strong like you do. Your love for each other gives me and Brenna such a wonderful example of how marriage and friendship should be. You both also give us examples of hard work, determination, humility, courage, selflessness, and so much more that have strengthened both of us to be who we are today. You both, and Nana, have taught us that no matter what we choose to do or what we want to be, you will love us unconditionally and fully. I have never gone through a day in my life where I didn't absolutely know that I was loved by all three of you. I admire all of you, and hope to grow up and be just as wonderful and precious to my kids as you all are to me. I could write books and books about all of the stuff you have done and do for me everyday, but I think that you all know how much I appreciate you all anyways.

I admire, adore, look up to, respect, and love you all with all of my heart!

Love,

Your Jordo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So... last night, which should have been awesome, was an epic fail. I was sick all day yesterday being really dizzy and light headed all day. I dunno whats up, but I may go to the doc tomorrow. My parents and Nana think that it's vertigo cause my head rolls around weird when I lay down flat. It's awkward. Haha But any-who, last night was the Justin Moore concert. I don't really know much Justin Moore, but I was excited for the show with my girls. I really enjoyed what I did get to see though. And the opening band was really good too! Well, we got there about 5-5:30 and waited with some really nice people til eight to get it. We sweat like crazy cause it was so hot, but we were so close to the stage that we could have touched Justin if we wanted so it was okay. Well, we get in and some drunk rude obnoxious girls come in and stand right up behind us, wanting to "be our friend" and party with us. After a fight with random strangers over a fan, the girls started spilling beer cause they were so drunk, which made all of us pretty mad. I finally had to call Mom to come get me cause I was nauseous on top of whatever vertigo thing I had going on. After I made my way outside I stood with like 15 guys and girls who had been kicked out and who were drunk and stupid. I really wish Icoulda finished seeing Justin cause I heard his concert was amazing, but I did get to hear all of the songs I knew.

ALSO... night before last, Ryan text me apologizing for breaking up with me and asking for another chance, which I told him I would think about giving him. I hadn't really been hurt by the whole break up just because I never felt like we were more than friends, so I was considering, after him earning my trust of course, dating him again. Well, last night, Whitney texts me and asks me if me and Ryan were anything anymore, and I told her not really. Turns out, he had facebook messaged her to talk to her. That's exactly how things started with me and him- him asking me about my shoulder surgery over facebook and swapping numbers. So, I knew what was going down there. He also tried to talk to Kadie when we were first dating the exact same way, so it seems to me thats his way of meeting girls. I dunno what he wants in a relationship, but I am not going to date anyone who is talking to other girls at the same time as me, period. I don't mean like friends, but like talking with intention of future dating. I deserve way better than that for sure. I text him after I talked to Whitney, cause we had been texting all night, and told him that I was sorry and that I couldn't see myself ever dating him again, and good luck with someone else. I was a little mad at the time, not really because I was hurt, but because any guy would have the nerve to do that to me. It kinda shows his true colors anyways, so I was thankful for that.

Well, I guess that's it. I felt like I hadn't posted in a while, but I actually had just posted yesterday. Talk about some kinda time warp. Haha! But yeah...

What happened to all my other friends who were posting so good for a while? :P

Justin Moore Tonight!

Day 22: What makes you different from everybody else.
Day 23: What's something you crave for a lot.

Day 22:

I think something that makes me different from anyone else is that I don't belong to a "group". I'm not just a redneck, punk, jock, nerd, rocker... I'm a good mixture of all of them. I feel like I can fit into any group of people at anytime, and get along with them easily. I think this comes from my parents... my Dad is kinda red, and does the hunting/fishing etc., and he was also a jock. My Mom was more of a punk growing up but is now kinda rock-n-roll and whatever else she wants to be. Haha!

There's probably more stuff that makes me different, like that I absolutely love making up stories in my head when I'm just doing everyday things, and that I really want to write a book one day. Also, I'm saving myself for the one guy I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with, and that's rare anymore. That's about all I can think of right now! :)

Day 23:

I don't know what it is, but here lately at least, all I want is Texas Pete on everything! It's really weird. Haha!

Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy.

This all makes/made me really Happy. :)

Ball Tourny Yesterday, So 2 Today. :)

Day 19: Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 19:
I have a couple of nicknames, some that have stuck with me my whole life. Jordo is probably the most common one, and I think it just comes from having the name Jordan. Haha I think that most Jordan's have been called Jordo at some point in their life. I also have Jorr, which my friends all call me. I believe this came from how me and Sreen talk to each other, and then some of my friends talked that way too... and now pretty much everyone has a nickname from this language. Jorgy is what my sister calls me now... just like our language thing it came from that. I have been called Yorr too by my highschool softball team and coach. Haha. I think that's all.

Day 20:
This one kind of makes me sad cause I honestly don't think I know the man that I will marry or be with in the future. I haven't had the best luck with relationships for quite a while now, so I really am just gonna hand all of that over to God and let him find the special guy for me.
So... the closest guy that I would come to marrying or being with right now would probably be Johnny Depp just cause he's a pirate, he's hot, and he owns an island. :)

Once Upon A Time...

...There were five girls. These five girls went about their daily lives- going to school, hanging out with friends, working at their jobs- just like any normal teenage girls. But, on long summer nights, sometimes the girls would end up together around a fire and get a little crazy.

Sitting around this crackling fire, the girls would share with each other their secrets, their hopes, their dreams, their plans, their troubles, their worries... without any hesitation or any regret.

These girls created a Sisterhood.

For years, friends had come and gone out of the girls lives, but each Summer it was those five girls. Those five that created a friendship bond that will last a lifetime.

Of the Sisterhood were the Noble Five Priestesses, each given a title and place in the society.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duchess Naked-As-A-Jaybird was the most grown of the group. Married to Duke Sitting Cloud, and about to have a child of her own, she never let distance separate her from the Sisterhood. Quick to speak her mind, and loving like a mother, she sat out as a distant keeper of the peace. Whenever troubles arose in the group, she was there to mediate and to "mother" as only a mother should. She made sure to let her sisters know her thoughts about situations and about each of them, but in this, she made sure to love them for who they were and not for anything they may have tried to pretend to be (for she quickly pointed out that they were silly in trying to pretend anyways). Her love shined in the group, and their love in return, even as she was moved into a new life miles and miles away. The Duchess made sure that she was never far from thought or forgotten (or else pay the price of a good butt kicking).

Marchioness Drunk-As-A-Lord was the right hand lady of the Duchess, being as close knit to her as family. She worked hardest out of the group to support herself, and lived completely on her own for a time. She was quick to love and trust, which sometimes ended up as a fault, but her big heart was full of love for all of the sisters and her own young siblings. Life experience did not pass the Marchioness by, I tell you now. She was the most experienced in learning how to live in a real world where things were not always perfect and good. She fiercely stood up and for her sisters, never letting anyone in the society get hurt by an outsider, or another sister. Her stubborn ways and love for group showed in her wild acts involving Jack Daniels and Poker. When not able to participate for any reason in sisterhood meetings, the sisterhood felt lost and confused, for the Marchioness served as a leader of the girls.

Baroness Crescent Moon was somewhat the wild child of the sisterhood. She, as fiery as her hair, never let anyone bypass her in her ability to make adventure in every day life. The Baroness overflowed with personality and life as she came to most all of the sisterhood gatherings. She was fearless in new things- never afraid to try anything once. She grabbed life by the... well you know... and most of the time drug the other sisters with her (reluctantly for some, happily from others). She was not a person who was quick to trust other people, but instead you had to earn her trust. Once you earned it however, she would love you and treat you as richly as anyone else she would in her life. Her friends served as an extended family for the Baroness, who came from a two person family herself. The Baroness constantly worked on where she was headed in life, and had huge dreams including a boy, Baron Flies-Like-An-Eagle who she was as mad for as she was her sisters.

Princess Young Heart was often seen as the baby of the sisterhood, but probably had one of the biggest hearts of all the sisters. Her passion lied in animals, mostly horses, in which she felt (almost) as much love for as her fellow sisters. The Princess felt all of the sisters troubles however, as if they were her own. She was the first to stand up for any sister, no matter who against. She was sometimes picked on and teased by the Sisters, and sometimes was angered by their remarks, but still in her heart she knew that they did it all out of love for her. The sisters relied on the Princess to be there when all else were not, and the Princess served her duty well. The Princess was also one, like the Marchioness, who had been betrayed and hurt more than one should in her life, and she learned to rely on the Marchioness, amongst the other Sisters, in her times of need.

Viscountress Tiger Lily, that being myself, was sometimes the odd ball of the group. Being very close knit to her family, she was sometimes forced to be absent at sisterhood gatherings, which some sisters had frustrations about. However, the Viscountress loved all of the sisters dearly as she did her family, and worked hard to make sure that they never lost their touch. Being a lover of words in both written and read form, she decided to start an account of the sisterhoods secret society, and of their adventures within each others wild company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their story is one of adventure and growing up, of long nights and peachy drinks, of baby showers and wedding bells, of heart break and true love, of friendship and of family. These girls, as different and unique as they could be, each served as the foundation and as the glue of the Sisterhood and each others lives.

As I continue to account some of their story, I hope that those reading know their importance and their role as a member of...

The Southern Secret Ya-Ya Sisterhood!

"Let no man put us under..." :P

YA-YA!

;)

The Future

Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have.

This is kinda hard since I feel like a lot of the goals I have are like my dreams, and my plans involve my goals and plans. Haha! So i'm gonna combine them and do it by time.

In the Next 5 Years:

1. Complete my ADN and possible BSN from G-Dubb.

2. Enroll in a RN to Nurse Midwife school.

3. Start my schooling to be a midwife.

4. Work as a nurse in the mean time.

5. Do an externship at Mission.

6. Make a good grade in my Med-Surg class.

7. Learn to have more fun at school.

8. Meet that special someone (maybe in five years... haha!)

9. Go on another mission trip to somewhere.

10. Adopt a Cat.

11. Stay close to and keep up with my friends I have now.

12. Start paying off scholarship money!

13. Throw an awesome bachelorette party for my Roomie! haha!

14. Probably a lot more that I'm missing!

In the Next 10 Years:

1. Graduate from midwifing school and practice as a Nurse midwife.

2. Meet that special someone (hopefully at least in 10 years! haha)

3. Get married.

4. Move into a house of my own.

5. Take Abby, but get another dog.

6. Take my cat.

7. Stay as close to my family as I am now.

8. Stay close and keep up with my friends.

9. Possibly have one kid or be thinking about having kids.

That's all I can really think of right now. I may be able to add some later as my plans start to mold into different and more things.

The future looks bright from where I'm standing. :)

Freaky Friday?

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.

Hmm... This one is kinda hard for me, cause I really like where I am and who I am. But I guess since it is for one day only, it's kinda hard too, cause they're a lot of people that for one day I'd like to take a walk in their shoes.

The person who I would most like to switch lives with for one day would be my little sister Brenna. We are SO different, and if you know us, then you'd probably say that's an understatement. We grew up together and shared so much of our lives with one another, and I consider he my best friend, but here lately as she's becoming more of a teenager, I feel like I can't relate to her hardly at all. Brenna is very much outgoing and wild, she talks to anyone, tells anyone what she thinks, and seems to have no filter when it comes to other people. I love this about her, but it seems to get her in trouble quite a bit. Also, I feel like she is mixed in with some friends and people that are bad influences on her, and I feel like if I could be her for a day, I could maybe help her to get rid of some of those people in her life. Not like "get rid of" but like, get her some new friends.

I dunno though. Being Brenna would be so foreign to me that I probably wouldn't even know what to do!

I love my Sreeeny!

Day 16... I'm doing pretty good. :)

Day 16: Another picture of yourself.

On another note, school starts back soon. I have SUCH mixed feelings about going back. I really want to see my friends, meet some new people, decorate my room, but I really don't want to go back to classes and living there all week. :( I know I felt this same way last year... I am such a Mama's/Daddy's/Nana's/Overall family girl that I can't remember how it was to not have them around me constantly. I guess it's a double edged sword being so close to your family... it makes things like college harder than they would be if you weren't. I honestly feel like if I could take Abby I'd be okay! Haha!

But right now, I'm dreading the summer coming to a close. I know that a lot of this has to do with last year and what a rough time I had with all of my classes, and I know that it won't happen again this year, but I kind of feel like I'm a freshman all over again. I really dread having to adjust again. :/ I know this makes me sound like a big kid, but I really am, and I'm not ashamed. I love my family, and wouldn't apologize for any time I spend with them. This seems to insult a lot of my friends, but it's just who I am. I hate that there aren't many people I can relate to now days as families don't seem to be as close as they used to be. Another thing about this summer coming to a close: this is the last summer that I will ever know like this. This is essentially the end of my summers. Next summer, I won't be having surgery so I'll be working and hopefully doing an externship at Mission along with taking some summer classes. Brenna plans on getting a job, Mom has a new job where she won't have Summers off... I just can't imagine having stuff to do all the time during the summer and not laying out at the pool for long days like we all have been able to this Summer. As goes growing up I guess. You have so much you have to lose and part with, and so much more you have to do- but then you have so much to look forward to- a future job, marriage, family of your own... AHH! Haha! Everything in this life just seems so Bittersweet. Same way about school, it's going to be fun to go back and meet the freshies and new neighbors, and to have the hall meetings and new classes and new teachers and etc. etc. while you have to have the pain of school work and stress.

I try so hard to hang on to where I'm at in life, to stay as free as I am now- to hold onto my little sister while she grows right out of my hand, to spend time with my Mom, Dad, and Nana while I know in a few short years I'll be moving out and into a family of my own. Askhasdhjhsd! Now is the time when I most need to rely on God on his path for me and what he wants to come out of my time here. I really can't wait to see what he has in store for me, but I very much am content at where I am right now.

I'm definitely going to be praying for His peace in these coming weeks- for me, for my parents, for my sister, for my Nana, and for anyone else having the back to school jitters like me.

Fun little Survey :)

I like the way you walkin, if you walkin my way Created by drapes and taken 163 times on Bzoink
Do you want the last dream you had to come true?:	Part of me does, part of me doesn't.
When did you last talk to the person you'd most wanna talk to right now?:	Not long ago.
What kind of pill did you last take?:	Ibprofen.
Do you like wearing glasses?:	Yes I do.
Does your mom know the last person you hung out with?:	Oh yah. Roomie!
What were you doing 4 hours ago?:	Hanging out with Mom, Sreen, and Roomie!
What would you most like to eat right now?:	Watermellon cause its national Watermellon day!
How long were you last in the car for?:	10 minutes maybe?
What is something good that happened last weekend?:	Is it bad that I can't remember anything that happened this past weekend? :(
Do you like holding hands or do you think it's stupid?:	I love holding hands and think it's sweet.
The last song you heard, what does it make you think of?:	Ahh, Him. Stupid disney channel. Haha!
How'd you get your last injury?:	Tubing with my girlies. :)
What do you like about your birthday?:	That's it's kinda close to Christmas break!
Do you like being home alone at night?:	Eh, it's whatever.
What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade?:	Drivers license and moving!
What's the scariest thing that's happened to you?:	Probably my car wreck. Scary stuff.
Has an ambulance ever came to your house?:	Nah. I have been in one though!
The person you're thinking about- what are you thinking about them?:	Why I'm thinking about them... does that make sense?
When did you last skip class?:	Probably May! Haha!
Do you like the shape of your fingernails?:	Sure?
Did you look at your fingernails for the question above?:	Yes I did. Haha!
Whose pool did you last swim in?:	My own! Today!
What's something you like about your 3rd hour?:	3rd Hour what?
Is formspring a good idea?:	No. Mean people. Something you just shouldn't share with others. Facebook pushes it. Haha!
Should there be world peace?:	Yes!
What's your biggest problem at the moment?:	Aaksjhdkfjhasjkdfh!
What's the cutest thing someone's ever done for you?:	I had a boy once bring me flowers on my Birthday even though he had surgery that morning. Too bad he ended up being as ass. Haha!
Would you be surprised if the person you like texted you?:	Probably. We either don't talk or I text him.
What's one thing you can't stand about your school?:	A specific teacher. Boo!
When did you last see a police car?:	Does a virtual one count? If so last night.
Have you ever hugged the person you wish you were with right now?:	Si. Many-a-time.
Why aren't you doing something more productive than this?:	Because I'm bored. Haha!
How many people know about the last person you kissed?:	My friends and family all do? Haha!
How many different cars have you driven?:	3. Bad bad.
What did you do on Thursday?:	Dude, I'm lucky to remember yesterday. Premature Alzheimers. :(
What color was the last thing you drank?:	Clear. Water.
What do you do on Fridays?:	Same thing I do every other day during the Summer.
Did you kiss a lot of people last year?:	Nope.
Have you ever had to take desperate measures in a desperate situation?:	Sure. Everyone has I think.
What door did you last open besides any on your house or car?:	Jez opened the door on her future house! Haha!
What is the meaning of life?:	I'm still trying to figure that one out... I know it's all about Jesus and how we live for him. That's most important though so I guess I'm good! Haha!
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Ah, Music. :)

Day 15: Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.

(So... i'm cheating and using Pandora cause I can't find my iPod like a loser)

1. Keeps Gettin Better - Christina Aguilera

2. Misery Business - Paramore

3. Peaceful, Easy Feeling - The Eagles

4. Proud Mary - Creedence Clearwater Revival

5. It's Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel

6. Bad Influence - Pink

7. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

8. Pon De Replay - Old School Rhianna

9. My Favorite Mistake - Sheryl Crow

10. Love Today - Mika

It has been brought to my attention...

That I only made my first blog contain 10 interesting facts about me when it was supposed to have 15. I am pretty much a fail of a person. Haha! SOO I'm gonna go fix that one now.

P.S. Me and Mom just went and saw Inception. It was mind blowing just like everyone said, and totally amazing! I loved every minute of it! Movies that make you think like that are sooo sooo sooo good. Ellen Paige and Leo Decaprio were amazing too. And the hot guy that looks like Heath Ledger. Ahh yummy. ;)

P.S.S. I hope that Miss Caroline Bryant reads this and enjoys it! Hah!

Day 14: A picture of you and your family

Fadge, Madge, Nan, Reen... (not pictured: Nude, Ingy, and Smoge) Haha!

These people mean the most to me in the whole world. They are my foundation for who I am. :)

Yesterdays blog was long enough so i'm gonna keep this one short. haha!