Sunday, August 1, 2010

This one was... different.

Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12: How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one
Day 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 11-


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Day 12-

Since this isn't Tumblr... haha! I found out about blogspot from a girl on gURL.com who had a blogspot that was REALLY nice. I thought maybe it would be more fun to create on and decorate than tumblr. No offense tumblr.

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Day 13-
This one's kinda hard since I haven't really been all that hurt by anyone recently. I'm gonna write one to someone who's hurt me in the past instead.

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You,

Since it's been so long ago that anything had went down between us, it's kind of hard for me to sit here and conjure up bad feelings towards you. I honestly can't be mad at you anymore, because I have forgiven you in my heart for everything you have done to me. I know that you'd say that I've done the same to you, which is fair, and I hope that in your heart you have forgiven me too so that we can both move on without all of it. I sit and I think back to when we were together all the time, when we had our first dates, when you sat with me at the top of the stairwell at the middle school outside and we counted the stars and made up stories about where the door went to... they were all so much fun. It's hard for me to believe we were as young as we were because I know that I cared about you more than I have cared about anyone since. I feel like at least together, we were pretty mature. I remember joking with you about getting married! That's so hard for me to believe now. We were only... 15 & 16? So crazy. The first time we broke up was bad. I was hurt, mostly because you had cheated. I wonder where we would have been if you hadn't? I remember when you told me, after you had lied to me about it originally. I remember being in disbelief at who it was with, and I remember not ever wanting to talk to you or see you again. I don't remember how we ended up back together, but I know we did. Right before you moved. I remember when I broke up with you that time. We had dated I think about a year total. Do you remember our anniversary? I don't honestly. Anyways, I remember how mad I was at you. I don't even remember why. I didn't trust you, I know that. I guess that was the downfall. And that was pretty much the end of it. You were gone and we both just moved on. Then you called me that day... fall of either my junior or senior year, I don't remember. And all the sudden you were back standing by my car waiting for me to get out of school. That's where I think I get the maddest looking back on everything. I guess you would have made things more normal if you hadn't shown up that day. You asked me to come to dinner, and I said I couldn't go. I didn't think I wanted to. I felt like we had missed out on too much of each other's lives to catch up. You came to my house, but were kind of afraid to come in. While you were in Hendo, you text me and called me for about two weeks straight. You came to meet my friends. I had started to let myself fall for you again, hanging on your promise of not forgetting about me when you went back home and us catching up and picking up things. Two weeks after you had gotten back home, you forgot your promises and me, again. That time... I was through. I was so beyond done with you that I didn't even know what to do with myself. I caught myself texting you one time and you asked me if I didn't have someone else I could talk to besides you. That hurt. But by then you were engaged, so I guess I deserved that reaction. It still hurt. After that day, I deleted all evidence I had of you. I deleted your number, your e-mail address, everything so I would have no way to reach you even if I wanted to. Over a year later, I'm sitting in PCB with you as far away from my thoughts as could possibly be, and you decide to text me. "I was just sitting here and I started thinking about you so I thought I'd text you." I mean, what's a girl to do at this point? How confused did you want me to be? First, you pretty much tell me to get lost, and I do, then you text me and tell me you're thinking of me? I found out then you had been dumped by your fiance, and wonder now if that's all that I was? A rebound type deal? You still text me now every once in a while, and 99% of me wants to not reply and pretend it never happened. The dumber "you're asking for it" 1% texts you back everytime, being as nice and normal as it always was. I guess I would like to tell you all of this... send it to you in a message and make you think about it like I do. Make you see how you hurt me when you led me on and spun me around and around again. It drives me insane that you still pop up in my dreams every once in a while, and still act like the same old you, talking about coming to see me at school and what not. Maybe one day I'll wise up and learn that you're no good for me as a friend or anything... but for now, I still feel like I need to talk to you when I can. I believe it when they say you never forget your first love, cause I sure can't forget you.

Perfect Song About Us:

Round and Round
Selena Gomez

You see me standing there
And act like you dont know me
But last night you were calling me
Saying you want me
Oh why you always make me feel
Like I'm the one thats crazy
You got my heart racing
My-my heart racing
Boy, I need you here with me
We can't go on this way
I'm falling hard for you
All I can say
We're going round and round
We're never gonna stop
Going round and round
We'll never get where
We're going Round and round
Well your gonna miss me
Cause I'm getting dizzy
Going round and round And round
You tried to pull me close
And whisper in my ear
You always told me lies
I've cried out all my tears
I pushed my feelings to the side
But then you bring them back
B-bring them back
Now you got me singing

Love Whether I Like it or Not,
Me

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^Wish I had the juevos to send that to him. Haha.

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